Dear Santa,

I know it's a little bit early to start asking for next year's present, but this one is big and you're going to have to save up.

I really, really, really, really, really want my own robot bartender. I will love him and talk to him and pet him and we will be best friends forever and ever and ever. And finally, when I yell, "Bitch, make me a drink!" someone will actually do it.