Newness in Clubland

In New York, the Happy Valley nightclub has recently opened. The interior was designed by Jeremy Scott, who took the concept to ridiculous levels as he does everything. Judging from the pictures, the place is all sex and drugs and loud fashion, with a light-up floor in one section, the bar's backdrop of a pair of spread-eagled legs, a disco ball shaped DJ booth, and cheetah print furniture.

I've read that the toilets are also made of disc ball mirror tiles. I was thinking a while ago that I should invent a mirrored toilet seat (if there isn't one already), to make it easier to do lines on them in nightclub bathrooms. You could fit a whole lot more blow on a toilet seat than on a compact mirror. Perhaps someone should also invent mirrored keys, to make your bumps seem bigger and better. And a mirrored dance floor so you can look up your own skirt or hoover a fat line right on the floor.

I wonder why nobody has asked me to design a club. I'm a freaking design genius!