Ranking your friends

Not that you should rank your friends by the hookups they have, but there's something to be said for hanging out with other people who have hookups. My friend Maria and I are each 'in' with a different set of venue owners and bartenders, so when we hang out we somehow get stuff comped everywhere we go. The problem is when you're just throwing down big tips in exchange for free drinks, you end up getting double the drinks you intended to, tipping twice as much as normal, and therefore spending more than you would have if you'd paid for the drinks in the first place.

I didn't say we were very clever. Just very popular.